SLP Mommy of Apraxia

Tag: Ashlynn update

  • So many things require motor planning, including a computer mouse.

    I’m so frustrated today!  To make it worse, I’m frustrated with myself for being frustrated.  I went to put Ashlynn on abcmouse.com, and early learning site for kids as young as two.  Since she’s 3.7, I figured this should be great.  Wrong.  Turns out using a mouse requires a high degree of motor planning and coordination.  God.  It sucks.  She can’t even do things two year olds can do.  I mean, she can, but it’s going to take a high degree of practice.  It’s not fair!!  I just want to cry. I mean, forget using the site for educational purposes, we’ve been stuck on the tutorial just trying to help her get the hang of the mouse. 

    It’s not that she’s not trying either.  She’s so excited like she always is, smiling, happy to be learning something new.  It’s just where most kids get to actually use the other programs on the site, we are using it to learn how to use a mouse.  This is something two year olds can do! 

    Why does everything have to be so hard for her?  Anything she’s ever done has required so much more practice.  Everything she’s accomplished has not come easy, yet she perseveres with a smile on her face.  I have so much to learn from her.

  • “I Will Wait” Struggles have made victory that much sweeter.

    Ashlynn’s progress continues to grow by leaps and bounds.  So many times I catch myself smiling and my eyes well up with tears to see her knock down all of her obstacles.

    Last month she learned to jump for the first time at 3 1/2.  At the beginning of the year, it broke my heart to watch her try on a classroom trampoline.  On their turn, all the other kids exuberantly bounced away.  When it was Ashlynn’s turn, all she could do was march.  Now, she is not only exuberantly bouncing, but she is catching air in my kitchen, on my patio, and even on her bed.  I was scolded for jumping on the bed, but I don’t care if she busts every spring and I have to buy  her a new one.  It’s worth it.  It’s all worth it.  Every penny spent, every happy and sad tear shed, every minute in therapy; it’s all worth it!  
    She also sang to a song that she had never heard before in the car last week.  Mumford and Son’s “I Will Wait” song was on the radio.  I was singing to it, and all of a sudden I heard her.  Her little voice filling the car with the chorus.  There are no words to describe the feeling.  I will buy the CD and put the album cover in her baby book. 
    These little triumphs, so sweet when  you have a child with a developmental delay.  She has taught me so much.  We may have had challenges, but we experience something so much sweeter when there are victories.  We appreciate all the little things so much more.  We never take for granted, not even for a second, her talking, her jumping, her SINGING.  

  • Ashlynn’s at four words! Update

    Ashlynn is literally making leaps and bounds in her speech.  Sometimes, I feel like we are actually having a mini conversation.  I think the greatest aspect is her being able to tell me where she’s hurting, or even tell me what she wants to eat.  She tries to repeat everything now, and even has some sponteaneous four word utterances! 

    The past week, her new thing was “too” as in, “Ashlynn go ni night too?”  or “Ashlynn eat dinner, too?”  That counts as four words!  Yeee haw!!  She’s also said, “I want more ketchup.”

    This past month, after hard work from both her SLP’s and myself, she marks every final ‘t’ ‘p’ and ‘n’ consonant.  Getting to that point though, wasn’t easy.  Practicing CVC words, you could see her brain thinking as she groped for the correct sound.  She needed a visual and verbal cue every time.  For example, when saying “hat” she would say,
    ha       t.  The pause time could be up to 3 seconds, which doesn’t sound like a lot, but is when you are talking about speech.  Now she has it down though!  Such a small step, but so big at the same time!  Having a child with apraxia makes one wonder how we ever learn to talk at all?? 

    She puts chapstick on her “yip”, and has Jace sit in her “yap.”  She puts a “hat” on her head, and drinks with a “sup.”  She can tell me perfectly “I want down” and that she wants “out” or to put something “in.” 

    She also gets tickled by everything and laughs “Silly_____.”  My favorite is of course, “Silly Momma” but “Silly baby”  and  “Silly Daddy” are pretty popular around here too.

  • New worries

    New worries

    It’s no secret that my daughter has a short attention span.  I always worry of course since I’m her mom that it might be more serious than just the average toddler one minute attention span; however, today her school SLP expressed some concern as well.

    She asked me to come in next Wednesday to discuss possible strategies for keeping her on task in a group setting.  She said that taking her out has been working great for speech, but they don’t want to have to take her out of the room for every activity they are doing.  I obviously agree, but, sigh, I have to admit my heart sank.  I knew she has had trouble with attention, but much like her speech, I was hoping that no one else noticed and that I was just being an overly worried mom.  Having it pointed out by someone else makes my heart very heavy…again.

    My poor little girl.  I know that when things do get hard for her she has a tendency to change the subject (or switching her attention to something else since she can’t really verbalize much yet); however, she has a very difficult time attending to anything without getting distracted by something else.  What is normal, what is not, I don’t know.  I know it’s a little too young to diagnose ADD, but I hope to God she doesn’t have that too.  She doesn’t deserve this..any of this.  She’s the sweetest, most vibrant, lovable little girl who shouldn’t have to fight for everything she does or learns.  I know it’s not fair for all the other children who have disabilities either, but this is MY baby girl and I have a right to feel sad for her.

    I also know as her mom I have to be strong for her.  I have to be the champion in her corner, her advocate, her soft landing, her biggest fan.  I want to do everything I can to make sure she can be anything she wants to be, and be what our Lord meant for her to be.

    When my husband was diagnosed with bipolar disorder nine months into our marriage, there were people, many people, who told me that at least I knew before we had kids.  Yes, they were implying I shouldn’t have them.  However, that’s not what God commands us to do in the bible.  He didn’t say go forth and multiply unless you have some disease, ailment, or defect.  I believe He didn’t say that because He told us that we are all made in His image and likeness.  My husband says all the time how she is just like him, and it scares him.  It scares me too because his road was not easy.  But he’s here.  He overcame everything.  He overcame all the odds and now he is a loyal husband, doting father, and brilliant engineer.  God had a purpose for him, and He has one for Ashlynn too.  However, it doesn’t make it any easier.

    Ashlynn and her daddy on Halloween. Exactly 3 years old. 🙂

  • First week of pre-K

    After my IEP experience, I was excited but also skeptical pending the first day of school.  Excited and hopeful she would finally get the speech and language enrichment she so desperately needs, and skeptical because it didn’t seem like her teacher or SLP would be the ones able to do so.

    I dropped off her private speech report to the teacher and SLP so they could at least see her progress documented by the private SLP. 

    I was pleasantly surprised to see there were 4 kids and 3 adults in the room.  Talk about a great student/teacher ratio!  There was the teacher, the para, and then depending on the day either the O/T or the SLP.

    Day 1: I received a weekly agenda, which is basically the teacher’s lesson plans.  It’s awesome because even though Ashlynn can’t tell me what she did, I can look at the agenda and talk about her day with her. 

    Ashlynn came home and we ate lunch.  While she was eating, she balled up part of her sandwich, hid it in her fist, and asked me playfully, “Wherdido?” When I repeated, “Where did it go?” She laughed, opened her fist and said, “right der!.”  Now, “right there” she has been saying for a month or so, but this “where’d it go” was new!  She played it the whole day, obviously proud of herself. 

    Day 2: I pick of Ashlynn up from school and the SLP tells me that she believes it would be best to pull Ashlynn out of the classroom and drill (duh), but I was nice and on my best behavior.  I smiled and said, “Great!  I’m glad to hear that!  I think she really needs that.”

    Day 3: Ashlynn brings home art projects everyday.  Today we got a tree with various fall leaves.

    Day 4: Ashlynn brought home the cutest fall leaves wreath.  I immediately hung it up!  I love it.  Great for working on colors.  While eating lunch today, I asked her if she sang the song “Autumn leaves are falling down.”  She kinda said ‘ya’ and so we sang it.  When she was done, she said “see” for sing.  I asked her what she wanted me to sing and she said “bee..bubu bee.”  I clearly didn’t understand and she started kinda singing the melody to the baby bumblebee song.  I asked her if she was singing “baby bumblebee” and started singing it.  She started doing all the cute little gestures that go with the song.  I emailed the teacher if they had sang this song today (I hadn’t seen it in the agenda), and she responded in a timely fashion that they had been singing it all week!  How exciting!!  Ashlynn finally told me something that happened in her day!! 

    My skepticism might be waning.  I hope so.  I just want the very best for Ashlynn, and this week seemed very productive 🙂

  • Putting words together!

    Today was such a great day!  I have to write it down so I remember things Ashlynn is doing so later on, I appreciate how far she has come.  When I’m with her everyday, I tend to get focused on how much she is behind instead of celebrating the new things she does.  I really need to focus and celebrate all the successes!

    Today when she woke up from her nap, she started to say outside (ou-sie), and right before I could tell her no, we weren’t going to go outside, she said, “i – da-dee” (is doggie).  She tried to make a sentence using three words!  They may have been out of order and slightly unintelligible to an unfamilar listener, but I knew what she was trying to say!  I clapped and we cheered at her success.  She was so proud of herself she ran around the house labeling all the things she knew how to say just to keep up my enthusiasm 🙂

    She pointed to various things: shoe, share(chair), baby, hair, nail, nose, pupple(puzzle), baba(backpack), etc.  It was so cute!

    Later when her daddy got home, she exclaimed, “home!  Daddy home!” 

    My heart is leaping for joy today.  Today was a good day.  I can’t wait until we can really talk and communicate.  My child is finding her voice!