Category: CASANA

  • To love something with all your heart may also mean you have to let it go: The future of CASANA

    To love something with all your heart may also mean you have to let it go: The future of CASANA

    I’ve never been involved with non-profits until recently.  I mean, I had the couple that I liked and donated to and then went about my merry way.  Once I had Ashlynn and met Sharon Gretz, the founder of CASANA, knowing I could never repay her for the kindness and support she gave me, I turned to supporting CASANA 100%.  As a mother to a child with apraxia herself, Sharon automatically had 50% of my trust, and the other 50% was earned very, very quickly.  Sharon cared.  That’s the bottom line.  She has an incredible gift for bringing people together and getting people support. I cannot tell you how many times I thank God he gave this world a Sharon and her son Luke.

    That’s why her stepping down announcement was shocking.  She said it was for the good of the non-profit, and she said these changes happen, so we all trusted her like we always have.  We meaning the base.  There is a base of CASANA supporters spread out across North America, and she connected with us on some level. That’s what made her special.  She lives in Pittsburgh but could make these sincere and genuine connections nationwide that made people like me want to give 100% in helping CASANA.

    We all tried to take it in stride.  To say we were shocked and devastated was an understatement.  We all had no idea this was coming. We loved Sharon though, legit.  It’s weird to think you can love someone you have only met a couple times, but I guess as I said, that is her gift.

    We waited almost with baited breath who the new interim director would be.  Let’s be clear, we all knew no one could replace Sharon.  No one.  It’s like a dad who says no man will ever be good enough for his daughter……that’s the kind of love we have for Sharon.  She’s just that important to us. However, when the interim director was announced there was no mention of apraxia.  No connection to it at all.  If you remember, I told you Sharon had my first 50% trust because of that alone.  The resume was impressive.  This woman knows non-profits, so that’s good…..we guessed.  We all tried to convince ourselves someone who has no connection to apraxia can fill Sharon’s hole, and then we all started to panic.  Silently at first, but then slowly we started whispering to each other.  In tandem, Sharon seemed to be pulling away.  She told people she wasn’t going to be at the apraxia conference or the apraxia walk. Things she had always done in the community now were leaving too.  We all didn’t understand.  Had we burned her out?  Was she done with apraxia once and for all?  How could she seemingly turn her back on us?

    One apraxia mom and CASANA supporter told me reading about the new director was like meeting dad’s new girlfriend for the first time.  It’s funny, but unfortunately, there is nothing funny about that feeling.  We all started feeling hurt.  Would this still be the CASANA we once knew?  It felt like the heart was gone now, and with no heart, there isn’t much motivation.

    I decided to bring it to Sharon.  I knew she would be hurt but sometimes when you love someone and you value the relationship with them, tough conversations have to happen.  This is true with a spouse, a mom, a sister, or a good friend. I have found that to avoid a tough conversation, in many cases means to avoid the truth.

    This post does not need to outline every particular, but what it is meant to do is to let the base out there….our apraxia tribe know….you guys, we’re going to be okay.  Sharon’s heart is not out of apraxia.  In fact, it cares more than I ever thought possible.  Her decision epitomizes the saying, “If you really love something, you have to let it go.” Her decision is like a parent who must let their children fly on their own.  They cannot be successful their entire life under their parent’s watchful eye.  A child is reared to eventually leave and flourish on their own.  Isn’t that what we’re all trying to do with our children with apraxia?  Give them the tools to fly on their own?

    Sharon sent me these two articles and if you, like me, had wondered how Sharon could seemingly cut all ties, these explain why.

    Founder Syndrome can take down a non-profit

    Strategies for Handling Charity Leaders

    I didn’t know anything about non-profits before.  I didn’t know founders no matter how well-intentioned have ran their non-profits into the ground.  I didn’t know that even when trying to step away and do what’s right, there is still a risk of running it into the ground.  I just can’t imagine that would happen to CASANA, but that’s the problem and that’s why I’m not the founder.  Sharon did know, and that’s why she had to have the strength to let it go.  She had to dig deep and admit her own shortcomings, and she did this so CASANA would continue.

    I should have trusted her like I always had, but I was sad and hurt, and it’s hard to think clearly in those moments.  Emotions take over.   How silly is it to think a woman who started a non-profit and dedicated 17 years of her life to it would just walk away without any doubt, worry, or honestly…agony.

    Sharon’s vision has always been big, OBVIOUSLY.  We all love her so much because of her selfless and unending support to all of us and our kids.  Of course then it would only make sense that this decision too was selfless in nature.  To walk away from something you created  from the ground up in the hope that it will grow bigger and help more people takes a depth of character, strength, and humility not many people possess.  It should come as no surprise to us though, her base, that it was the driving force behind the decision.

    I want to reaffirm my position as an apraxia advocate and CASANA warrior in spite of the big changes.  We are all working out here tirelessly so that CASANA will grow……and now we have to trust Sharon, as we always have, that this is the way to do it.  I’m happy to say I emailed the new interim director Michele Atkins, and she responded immediately and positively and seemed open to hearing from me.  I would encourage you all to do the same.

    Sharon will still always be a driving force in my work on behalf of CASANA.  I will carry her support and love she showed to me and countless others every time I mention the name CASANA.  I ask you all to do the same.  CASANA is still the organization we believe in.  It still has a board of directors and staff that Sharon brought on who are apraxia warriors themselves.  I do admit in my sad moments it felt the heart left, but the heart was bigger than we could even imagine. The heart still beats for CASANA but recognized for it to grow it had to step aside.

    I just want to take a minute to list anonymous quotes from the “base” spread throughout the US as to Sharon’s lasting impact on us all.  This list is compiled by not one, but many who she touched throughout North America.  Some were taken from FB comments and some were specifically solicited; however all are sincere and representative of Sharon’s lasting impact.

    “A public shout out to an angel in my eyes…..I have learned amazing things from CASANA and it is now part of my soul.”

    “Your accomplishments helped me win a proper education for my apraxia child.”

    “You changed the world for children who struggle to speak.”

    “I feel so blessed to have meet you and received such warmth, love and concern for our family.”

    “Sharon thank you for paving the path you have to bring apraxia to the forefront.”

    “Thanks a lot for you dedication! You have changed my life and children in Brazil who struggle to speak!”

    “What a legacy you have created!”

    “So beyond thankful that our paths crossed all those years ago. You have changed my life.”

    “My family and I are so incredibly grateful for your vision and passion to help children families and clinicians.”

    “CASANA has been an amazing place for me to find a home and friends when I needed them most and you are the reason for that.”

    “Thank you. You have given my family and child a roadmap to giving my child a voice. I can’t thank you enough for that.”

    “Thank you for EVERYTHING you’ve done to help our kids find their voices! I will be forever grateful that our paths crossed during my son’s apraxia journey. Your knowledge, empathy, and “light at the end of the tunnel” attitude always gave us such hope during times we felt so hopeless.”

    “Thanks to your contributions, countless children have found their voices!”

    “I always think of you as a pioneer. You have charted a new way of helping families deal with the tremendous impact of apraxia.”

    “Thank you so much for choosing to devote your brilliant mind, your determination and your huge, huge heart to making the world a better place for children with apraxia.”

    “YOU are one of my personal heroes and you will always be a part of my heart.”
     

    “I trust you enough to let you go.”

    “Sharon has been my gravity. Those times in this apraxia journey when I wanted to spin out of control Sharon would reign me in with her calm voice of reason and experience. She has given me direction using a strong enough nudge to get me started without pushing me away nor crushing me with her strength. Mine and my son’s lives have been forever been changed for the better thanks to the force that is Sharon Gretz. Thank you!”

    “I wish I could give you a big hug and thank you in person for everything you’ve done, not only for us personally but for everyone. If it wasn’t for CASANA, I don’t know where we’d be. You will truly be missed. I wish you the best of luck and pure happiness in your future endeavors!!”
     
    “How does one find the appropriate words to thank someone who has impacted their life on so many levels? Sharon, my life and my son’s life changed from one click on the computer and when I first met you I felt like I was “home”. You have been my anchor for 5 years and I would never be able to advocate for my son the way I do if it weren’t for you. Thank you for being such a wonderful person to have along side of our family during this journey”
    “I know I’ve told you this a thousand times, but it will never be enough. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for all you have done for me and my family. I never knew how much one person could have an impact in so many lives until I met you. You truly are the Mother Teresa of Apraxia.”
     

    “When I was floundering under water, you pulled me and countless others up for breath time, and time, and time again.  I will never for the rest of my life forget that kindness you showed me, and I am forever thankful God made a Sharon and a Luke for this world.”

     

    To honor Sharon now is to honor her life’s work and achievement that has helped all of OUR kids and countless others, and that is to continue to support CASANA, because in the end what matters is that EVERY CHILD DESERVES A VOICE.

     

     

     

  • Them some big holes to fill: A tribute to Sharon  Gretz

    Them some big holes to fill: A tribute to Sharon Gretz

    I cried last night.  Not just a few tears either.  Big, ugly, chest heaving tears.  I think my husband was a little taken aback.   It’s not that’s he’s never seen me cry, but it’s not very often and it’s usually because something really big happened.  They can be happy or sad tears, but the events that inspire a full on cry have usually been big, like the birth of our children, Ashlynn’s dx of apraxia, or the time I thought my Grandma was dying.

    “Sharon’s leaving!!  She’s stepping down from CASANA.”  I wailed.

    In case you don’t know, Sharon Gretz is the founder of the Childhood Apraxia of Speech Association of North America (CASANA), the non-profit I now work tirelessly to promote.

    “What’s the point in being the walk coordinator now???” I demanded at Cody.

    “Laura, it’s not like CASANA is going away is it?”

    I shook my head and managed to get out they are hiring an interim executive director until a permanent one can be placed.

    “What will we all do????  She helps all of us.  ALL of us.  Who is going to care that much?  Who is going to answer all of our questions in the facebook group, and if they do, who could possibly be as knowledgeable as her???  Who could possibly be as selfless as her?”

    I told you friends, it was a big, ugly, irrational, downward spiraling cry-fest.   At the very least, I think my dear husband finally understood why I do as much as I do for apraxia and CASANA now.  Not that he didn’t before, but it’s just, I don’t think he realized why I was 100% all in.

    I first had indirect contact with Sharon before Ashlynn was ever born.  I was a new SLP working in the schools and a Kindergarten boy showed up on my caseload nonverbal.  One day he named all the letters of the alphabet, but he could not string any sounds together intelligibly to save his life.  I remembered as an SLPA helping my mentor treat a kid with apraxia, and I immediately was suspicious.  I googled it and found apraxia-kids.org.  I found “start here” articles on how to treat CAS, printed them out, and changed my treatment plan.  He said his first words that year to his dad.  That family thanked me, but little did they know, CASANA (Sharon) changed the path for their son.

    It’s difficult to say, but CASANA and Sharon are almost synonyms in my mind.  It’s not true of course.  CASANA has an amazing staff, but I can’t help but think even they wouldn’t exist had it not been for Sharon.

    The next time I had contact with Sharon, it was direct.  Ashlynn had just been diagnosed with CAS and I found a parent group on facebook.  Every time I posted a question, Sharon would usually respond.  They were always the type of response that makes someone sit up and listen, because this “Sharon Gretz” really seemed to know her stuff.  I had no idea for quite some time she was actually the founder and executive director of CASANA who would answer me and countless other parents, sometimes at night during her free time, to help us and give us support.

    After a few months CASANA announced they were having their national annual conference in Denver. Sharon encouraged everyone from the facebook group to come and say hi to her.  I bought my ticket and showed up with my husband.  I remember being sooo nervous.  Oh my gosh, the woman standing there was amazing.  She had a child now resolved with CAS, founded a non-profit, and basically knew everything about apraxia there was to know in the world right now.  What would I say to her?

    I’ve written about it before, but I will never forget.  She encouraged parents to put a picture of their kiddo in their badge and she pointed it out as we were talking.  She genuinely cared about my kid and wanted to know about her.  I started embarrassingly pouring out my heart to her.  I had tears in my eyes and was looking down the entire time.  When I looked up she had tears in her eyes too and was staring right at me.  She gave me a hug.  I’ve never felt more understood in my life.  I had all this guilt about being an SLP and my daughter having apraxia, and I had no other person I knew in my position.  She was the closest because she had a doctorate in speech and she relieved me of so much guilt in that moment.  I had found my people.

    From there I had a face to the name.  Every time she responded to a post on facebook I was in awe of her dedication, compassion, and genuine love for all children with apraxia.  She was the first person to cheer anyone’s success story, no matter how big or small.  From a child saying “hi” for the first time to a child learning to read, Sharon celebrated them all with the parent.  I tried for awhile to follow every post and do the same, but there are a lot of people in that group now, and it was very time consuming.  I had a deeper appreciation for Sharon.  This wasn’t a job to her, this was truly a vocation, and it wasn’t just the facebook group.

    CASANA funds needed research so we know what treatment approaches are best and most effective for kids with CAS, which is important because traditional treatment approaches for speech will not work for CAS.

    CASANA has set up a network of support for families via the facebook group.

    CASANA funds iPads and therapy for kids with apraxia to help families crippled by the cost of therapy which is usually not covered by insurance.

    CASANA provides education to professional SLP’s who never received the right training in grad school (despite thinking they did) to treat this rare but treatable severe speech disorder.

    CASANA helps set up walks nationwide to honor our kids.  They receive medals and are rewarded for all of their hard work that no one else recognizes but their family, therapists, and teachers.  They get to meet other kids like them, and know they are not alone.

    CASANA is more than Sharon, but she is the heart.  She is…or now was.  Change is hard and the unknown is scary.  It felt like the heart of CASANA died when I read that announcement, but after my ugly cry I’m rational once again and I know my husband’s right when he says she put all the supports in place.  We are not left without.  We have a network of people for support.  Research will continue.  Walks will continue.  Education will continue.

    I know it will, but it still makes me sad it’s without Sharon.

    Sharon epitomizes the quote “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”  She never wanted anyone to go through what she went through with her own son, which was lack of resources, knowledge, and awareness of Childhood Apraxia of Speech.

    Someone wrote “What a legacy!” and yes it is.  Through it all Sharon,  you remain one of the kindest, most humble people I have ever met.   That will never be replaced.  You have accomplished more in 17  years than other people could hope to do if given two lifetimes.  What a blessing you are to us, to this Earth, and especially to your son, who will one day realize the extraordinary (and I mean EXTRAordinary) love of his mother.

    Sharon, when I was floundering under water, you pulled me and countless others up for breath time, and time, and time again.  Eventually I found my footing on dry ground, and knowing I could never repay you, I resolved to work tirelessly for CASANA and for kids like mine who deserved a voice.   I will continue to do so, and pay it forward to every parent who crosses my path, because I know what it’s like to literally feel saved by one person who just took 5 minutes of their time.

    You are a living, breathing example of all of my favorite quotes that I’ll share below.  Let’s have a toast.  Raise your glass.

    Here’s to you Sharon.  May you find some peace and relaxation.  When you close your eyes to sleep, may your dreams be filled with the satisfaction of knowing you not only helped your son, but in doing so, have set up an infrastructure to ensure every child like him has the opportunity to find their voice.  May your next journey be filled with blessings.  Most importantly, don’t stay a stranger.  Remember to come back and visit.  We are your people.

     

     

     

     

     

  • If you have been helped by this site at all, please give a #highfiveforapraxia

    If you have been helped by this site at all, please give a #highfiveforapraxia

    I originally started this blog as a way to spread awareness, and maybe commiserate with or even help others on this journey with me.

    As a parent and an SLP, I have readers now who are also both.  Hopefully there has been something you have found useful on my blog.  I have thought before about trying to make money and monetizing my blog, but I personally hate pop up ads, and I feel they would distract from what I wanted this website to be about.

    Hope
    Education
    Information
    Awareness
    Understanding

    A lot of the information in this blog would not be possible because it would not be available, without all the work CASANA has done.  I used to think CASANA was this huge non-profit.  It’s not.  They work tirelessly beyond their 40 hour work week and are absolutely passionate about their mission.

    When many people think of charities, they immediately think of the big ones.  I mean, I did too.  March of Dimes, St. Jude’s, The Komen Foundation,  etc etc.  I’m not here to discourage you from donating to these worthy causes, but I am here to ask you to also donate to the smaller ones too.  Helping kids literally find their voice is an incredible and life changing gift.  The reality is, some kids with apraxia will NEVER develop intelligible speech, and this is even more true if they don’t have access to appropriate therapy…..research based therapy that is only now getting done because of CASANA’s efforts.

    Let’s face it.  It’s hard to get people to care about a rare disorder, much less donate to it or fund research toward it.

    My daughter is where she is today because of CASANA.  Seriously.  If you are my client, or if you have ever called or emailed me and thanked me for taking the time to talk to you, thank CASANA.  I’m simply paying forward the kindness and absolute selflessness of the foundation, because that same time and attention was given to me from them as well…..for FREE.

    Isn’t that worth $5.00?  Just $5.00.  That’s a latte.  That’s a happy hour drink.

    If you find any worth in this blog at all, a $5.00 donation to CASANA would seriously mean the absolute world to me.

    Here’s the link and thank you as always for following along.  

    http://casana.apraxia-kids.org/give

    Laura

    Here’s a video of me speaking it.
    https://www.facebook.com/ApraxiaKIDS/videos/10154284866444107/