There was a time, a time not long ago but that seems like almost forever now, that when someone asked me Ashlynn’s age I immediately became defensive.
“Why?” you might ask yourself. Seems like a typical question among moms in that age group.
It is……….. until your child is delayed. Then that game isn’t fun anymore.
Every time the question was asked, I found myself rounding down. When she was almost 2 1/2, I still said she had just turned 2. When she was almost 3, I said she was 2 1/2, because, you know, technically she still was only 2 1/2. I might have been in some sort of denial, but at least to others she didn’t seem THAT far behind.
I don’t know if I was projecting (I probably was projecting), and I don’t know if they really felt this way (pretty sure they didn’t feel this way), but I felt like once they found out her age they immediately measured up their kid to her, and their chest puffed out a little further and their smile got a little bigger because they were SO proud of their little offspring; and I HATED it.
I know that sounds dumb, and I can’t really tell you why I did it, but I did. However, I can say now that I don’t do that anymore! Yes, all of her difficulties are still there but:
She’s talking.
She has friends.
She learns in school.
She plays on the playground
And
She’s the most loving and accepting out of ALL the kids in her class.
She’s the kindest.
She’s the most intuitive and she is by far the most advanced in lessons of the heart than others her age, and yes, that does make me proud of her and there is nothing wrong with that. Just like there is nothing wrong with the parent who is so proud their child is verbally gifted, or an athletic super star.
A girl who is verbally gifted and can speak TWO languages already in her preschool class, turned out to be a loner and the class bully. Despite being mean to Ashlynn, Ashlynn still is sweet and kind. When we talk about it, Ashlynn tells me that the girl “is sad mommy” and you know, Ashlynn’s right. Bullies are sad, and that’s why they are mean, and the only person who sees that is Ashlynn.
That’s pretty dang impressive. We all have our roads to battle. That parent was probably bursting with pride at her daughter’s early verbal skills, only to be fretful and worried now that her young daughter is already a loner and a bully. I don’t envy that mom, but I do understand that we all go through something that unites us as mothers. We all have our worries, and we all lose sleep over our children. No one gets left out.
I just wish I could have told myself this 2 years ago.
