SLP Mommy of Apraxia

Tag: dyspraxia and swimming

  • You play dirt with me?

    You play dirt with me?

    We took our annual Fourth of July camping trip to Glendo State Reservoir in Wyoming.   It’s a family tradition, so I decided to document her progress each year.  Last year’s experience can be found here: Glendo 2013
    This was only a few short days after our near drowning incident at her pool during swimming lessons.

    Glendo is a HUGE reservoir, and a lot of our time involves the beach.  I was worried about Ashlynn’s safety, and also if she would be too scared to go in the water.  The first day she kept her distance from the shoreline; however, the second day she walked to the shoreline and was watching her dad who was floating in the water maybe 10 feet away. Sensing she wanted to come in, he held out his arms.  I didn’t see him at first and my sister motioned to me that it looked like she was going to go in.  I went running to her, but stopped just short behind her.

    I saw my husband with arms outstretched encouraging her to come to him, and then I saw her little shoulders rise up big as she took a deep breath, and she marched in the water.  She marched through the waves, keeping her balance, until she fell into his arms with a big smile upon her face.  He hoisted her up into a floaty with him to enjoy floating in the water under the warm sunshine.

    I looked on in awe.  She’s so brave.  Her character is quite astounding to me, and I’m her mother.  She faces challenges, fears, and obstacles head on.  She never gives up. She is determined and resilient.

    She also of course, rode our jet ski.  I wrote last year that she asked, “Ashlylnn play boats with daddy?” and this year, she announced proudly after riding, “I ride the je-si huh!”

    One of her favorite requests this year was, “you play dirt with me?”  imploring anyone who would listen to play in the sand with her.  No one had the heart to say no, so she made quite a few friends and suckered in quite a few family members!

    When it was time for fireworks, Ashlynn has historically stayed in the car.  However, this year, she again put on a brave face and ended up enjoying the show!  At times she would say, “that was too close!!!” but she never went back in the truck.

    I like documenting some of her milestones on the Fourth of July, Independence Day.  It’s so fitting since each year she becomes more and more independent.

  • I saw the light go out in her eyes

    I saw the light go out in her eyes

    I saw the light go out in her eyes as she floated buoyant, but motionless under water. Her eyes staring out in front of her.

    I wish this was the beginning to some fictional novel, but instead it’s what happened today at swim lessons. This is on the heels of great success in swimming I just wrote about last week Good teachers change lives
    If you know me, it’s no secret I have an over active inhalation and freak out whenever I think my kids are getting hurt, but today this was no false alarm.

    I’m shaking typing this. As a mom, sometimes you have to keep it together and find strength you didn’t know you have to reassure your child even when you know you will fall apart.

    I was sitting poolside about 20 feet away behind the red line so “lifeguards can do their job.” Two life guards keep watch on the side, and as I’ve mentioned before, Ashlynn has had to be rescued twice.
    Ashlynn is getting more comfortable in the water. She can stand in it, so she’s been venturing out more with the other kids to do her head bobs and bubbles while the teacher does individual instruction.

    I have to watch my little man too who is good but active wondering around a play structure they have there. I looked at the water and Ashlynn was underneath doing a head bob. I turned away to make sure Jace was in view. I looked back to the pool and Ashlynn was still under water. She was struggling silently and I saw her trying to reach the top of the water with her chin, but because she was freaking out she wasn’t putting her feet down.

    I ran over.

    “Ashlynn!” I screamed.

    Other parents stepped forward. The lifeguards were still talking.

    I looked over at them while crouching poolside and screamed, “someone help my baby!!”

    The lifeguards didn’t move. I looked back at Ashlynn and, and, ugh…..I can’t get this image out of my head.

    She stopped struggling. She was in a sitting position under water staring into nothing. I jumped in and pulled her out. I patted her back and looked at her blue lips. It was probably only a few seconds, or maybe even one, but it seemed like an eternity and then she started coughing.   Then she cried and I have never been so relieved in my entire life.

    I wanted to cry tears of anger, of relief, of joy, but she was so scared I had to dig deep. I didn’t yell at the lifeguards (though the pool will be hearing from me), and I put on a smile and told her it was okay.  Even after this, the lifeguards casually looked over asking “what happened?”

    Josh her instructor came over and was incredible. He put on his big smile and reassured her for close to five minutes. We both knew she had to get back in the pool, because if she didn’t she might never go back in.  He and I coaxed her back.  I hear his voice and I don’t know what he said but it was soothing to me so it must have been soothing to her.  He made her smile.

    I happened to look back and it felt like a dream. Parents had their hands over their mouths. I see them in slow motion. They almost witnessed a tragedy…..and the tragedy was MY daughter. Another parent told me that’s why she always sits on the side of the pool regardless of the red line. I hear her voice as muffled confusion. A grandmother told me she’s had to save both of her grandkids last year. Her voice is just jumbled confusion.

    All I can see is the light that left my daughter’s eyes.

    Ashlynn has had a Mormon blessing and a Catholic baptism, and I know she was saved today.