SLP Mommy of Apraxia

Category: Overcoming Apraxia

  • Had it not been for Ashlynn: Head to Sophomore year

    Had it not been for Ashlynn: Head to Sophomore year

    We registered Ashlynn for her sophomore year in high school today. As I waited behind her as she took her picture for her school ID, I reflected a little. Staring at this young woman taking a picture at her high school, I some flashbacks of the journey.

    Before, just a few short years ago, she would have needed me to help her talk to the photographer. I would have had to explain to the photographer that she has a motor planning disorder which makes it difficult to smile. I would have physically gone into the space with her rather than staying back. I would have helped her onto this stool to ensure she didn’t fall off of it since it doesn’t have a back. I would have gone home and wondered if it were always to be like that.

    Walking through the school she recognized many teachers and staff who all smiled at her and had a short conversation. I only had to help her once when she experienced an apraxia freeze about what she did over the summer. My hint of “cruise” was all she needed to be off and running talking about it.

    So much has changed since those early years, and yet so much still remains the same. She has become more independent and she can certainly talk your ear off! Everyone she talks to can understand her. She has made her way in the world, forging relationships I didn’t have to help her make. Even leaving a classmate called out “what up Ashlynn? Good to see you!” These little moments can be big enough to me to bring tears to my eyes.

    Ashlynn’s social high school experience has been amazing so far, and I have no doubt it will be great again this year. From unified cheerleading, to basketball, to poms, to track and field, homecoming and more, she truly lives her best life, disability or not. That’s actually though one of the things that has stayed the same. Even when Ashlynn couldn’t speak, she would peak out of her door with a huge smile and attack the day with the same enthusiasm. So many obstacles to overcome, she never wavered. And because I watched this tiny but strong girl attack life this way, I realized I needed to do the same.

    Had it not been for Ashlynn, I never would have been determined to specialize in CAS. Had it not been for Ashlynn, I would never have gone into private practice. Had it not been for Ashlynn, I never would have thought about the need to spread apraxia awareness. Had it not been for Ashlynn, I never would have written a book. Had it not been for Ashlynn, I would not be giving podcasts, workshops, conferences or consultations on CAS. Had it not been for Ashlynn, I wouldn’t be on the professional advisory board for The Apraxia Foundation. Had it not been for Ashlynn, I wouldn’t be planning The Denver Apraxia Fall Festival. Had it not been for Ashlynn, I would have always played it safe. Had it not been for Ashlynn, I never would have taken risks. Had it not been for Ashlynn, I would have never known what it’s like to be someone’s person. Had it not been for Ashlynn, I would not be for the better a completely changed person.

    Have fun my love! I know you’re going to have another great year. Not because I have a crystal ball, but because past proves future. I’ve had almost 16 years of watching your quiet determination and big beautiful smile. I know for a fact you aren’t going to stop now. You’re such a gift and may you always know your worth.

  • Parent experience at an apraxia diagnosis

    Parent experience at an apraxia diagnosis

    It’s been over eleven years identifying as a parent to a child diagnosed with childhood apraxia of speech. I’ll never forget that fateful day. I missed her apraxia as an infant, despite being a speech/language pathologist before she was born. I knew she was delayed. Oh yes, I was keenly aware of it. Every well-check visit the list of milestones she was meeting grew shorter and shorter. I worked with her almost every night. Though she made progress, progress was so slow. I blamed myself.

    I finally raised my white flag before her third birthday and took her to Child Find. That’s where the SLP would inform me, “Laura, this is apraxia.”

    Apraxia

    Forever etched into my brain is that one statement. I remember it hit me like a ton of bricks. I also remember knowing instantly it was true. The amount of therapy Ashlynn was getting from me with only minimal results didn’t make sense, unless, apraxia.

    I grieved most of that year. I grieved so many things. I grieved my seemingly failure as an SLP. I grieved she would have to work so hard just to speak. I grieved she would always throughout her entire life live with a communication disorder. Then guilt appeared for grieving since she was at least healthy, happy, and still my same beautiful child.

    Years later, I would learn of the term “disenfranchised grief.” I did a talk with Dr. Iuzinni-Seigel for speechpathology.com and she introduced me the term. Disenfranchised grief is grief with no place to go. This is EXACTLY how I felt.

    I’ve since learned that many other parents feel relief at diagnosis. The journey was so long and so hard they had to fight to find an SLP who would listen to them.

    Since the Apraxia Diagnosis

    It’s been a long road since those early days. I picked myself up and kept putting one foot in front of the other. At some point I woke up and realized I have a private practice, A Mile High Speech Therapy, specializing in CAS. I wrote a book called Overcoming Apraxia that is now part of college coursework in speech pathology. I have given workshops nationally and internationally. Most of all though, Ashlynn is still my amazing ray of sunshine. Her beautiful smile, tenacity, and attitude toward adversity have taught me more than anything could.

    Many parents want to attend my workshops but the cost is prohibitive. Workshops and webinars can cost 100’s if not 1000’s of dollars for attendees. Furthermore, many workshops are not open to parents. That’s why I’m so excited to announce my newest endeavor called Apraxia Space. For just $75.00, parents and caregivers get access to at least SIX online live webinars given by myself and another apraxia specialist. Guest lectures are already scheduled along with live parent presentations of their apraxia journey. In addition, there will be a 24/7 private online community.

    We have participants WORLDWIDE from Italy, Australia, and Canada! Registration for this first founding member cohort ends April 1st. Be sure to save your spot! Register here: https://apraxia-space.mykajabi.com/

    I look forward to seeing you there!

  • What’s new in my speech therapy office?

    What’s new in my speech therapy office?

    Poke-a-dot books

    I am absolutely OBSESSED with the Poke-a-Dot books! I recently had a few new clients with a high interest in dinosaurs, so I knew the Poke-a-Dot dinosaour book was a MUST have for the clinic.

    While I was at it, I decided to also “add to cart” the Poke-a-Dot Old MacDonald and the Poke-a-Dot Goodnight Animals. You can never have too much of a good thing right? If you’re looking for ideas on how to use these books in therapy, check out my instagram post on five goals to target using the Poke-a-Dot Ocean book.

    Dinosaurs and more dinosaurs, oh my!

    To appease a few of my clients with an insatiable appetite for all things dinosaurs, I also added some dinosaur magnets that are versatile. They stick to the file cabinet and also are fun to “fish for” with a simple fishing magent!

    Add a dinosaur chunky puzzle by Melissa & Doug to not only work on speech but fine motor skills!

    While I was there, I couldn’t resist adding another Melissa & Doug sound puzzle to my collection. Did you know you can also “fish” for these pieces as well? Kids love to fish and this is such a fun and easy way to incorporate more fun into a simple puzzle activity! For ideas on goals to target in therapy using this activity check out my Instagram post here.


    Laura Smith, M.A. CCC-SLP is a 2014 graduate of Apraxia Kids Boot Camp, has completed the PROMPT Level 1 training, and the Kaufman Speech to Language Protocol (K-SLP). She is the author of Overcoming Apraxia and has lectured throughout the United States on CAS and related issues. Currently, Laura is a practicing SLP specializing in apraxia at her clinic A Mile High Speech Therapy in Aurora, Colorado. 

  • A teacher, a dog walker, and an answered prayer.

    A teacher, a dog walker, and an answered prayer.

    We are currently in the middle of the COVID 19 pandemic. I think it’s week 4. I’m not sure. Time blurs.

    I was feeling it yesterday. The weight of it all. Not being able to leave the house. All the closures. Working from home while teaching my children and doing their assignments with them. The unknown about when this will end. All the cancelled events. I wrote last night I was a tired that sleep couldn’t fix. I moped. I prayed. I moped some more.

    I wrote in my journal and meditated on gratitude. Gratitude is always a secret ingredient to shifting out of a bad perspective. Where our focus goes, our energy flows.

    Today my daughter with dyspraxia and cerebral palsy took a BIG header over her scooter. I know it must be bad when my son came running in announcing almost panicked, “Ashlynn fell again!!”

    Ashlynn falls a lot. It’s the nature of her disorder. It gets better the stronger she is, but with no private or school PT, she has weakened a bit. She’s fallen a lot lately, but usually just her knees. She rarely tells us because she has a high tolerance for pain, which can be a blessing and a

    curse. Jace never comes running like that for a hurt knee.

    That’s when I saw her bloody face. Blood was in her eye, under her nose and in her mouth. I usually panic but I just ran and hugged her while my husband got a cold compress. It was a bad fall. Her eye and lip are swollen. I’m guessing she will have a black eye. We cleaned her up and she rested for 30 minutes snuggling with her dad.

    I went about doing work and chores and 30 minutes later found her outside back on her scooter.

    That’s Ashlynn. She’s the strongest person I know. She literally and figuratively always gets back up. She never stops trying. She has been her happy self during this quarantine. She walks the dogs. She persevered through all of her school work with a smile. She still wants to a teacher and dog walker.

    I called out to take a break and she started crying. She asked if we could walk the dogs instead. We’s already walked them today for 40 minutes but I agreed. And as usual, as her dog pulled the leash she ran giggling ahead.

    It immediately brought me out of my funk. I was looking at her back that said “A voice” and thought how hard she had fought to find her voice. Life has always been hard for her. Why had I been moping again? Was I seriously moping yesterday? In that moment the dogs got tangled and Ashlynn burst out laughing and I laughed with her.

    A teacher, a dog walker, and an answered prayer to me through her.

    Laura Smith, M.A. CCC-SLP is a 2014 graduate of Apraxia Kids Boot Camp, has completed the PROMPT Level 1 training, and the Kaufman Speech to Language Protocol (K-SLP). She is the author of Overcoming Apraxia and has lectured throughout the United States on CAS and related issues. Currently, Laura is a practicing SLP specializing in apraxia at her clinic A Mile High Speech Therapy in Aurora, Colorado.

  • Apraxia and the Mamba Mentality

    Apraxia and the Mamba Mentality

    At the beginning of 2020, the world received word that world famous basketball player Kobe Bryant died in a helicopter crash with his daughter Gianna.

    After his death, people were chanting and hashtagging #mambamentality. Though I had heard of the “Black Mamba” and the “mamba mentality,” in relationship to Kobe, I have never followed professional basketball that closely, and didn’t really know the origin of the phrases or what they meant.

    After searching the “mamba mentality” I found this interview article in which Kobe describes it in his own words. While I was reading it, I realized that apraxia taught our kids the Mamba Mentality early on in their life. Here are a few quotes straight from the mouth of Kobe Bryant.

    The Mamba Mentality is:

    ” Doing more than the next guy and then trusting in the work you’ve put in when it’s time to perform.”

    ” If you have a goal or a dream, you need to apply the Mamba Mentality to achieve it. Everything worth achieving needs total focus and dedication.”

    ” Hard work outweighs talent – every time.” (this one is my favorite).

    Apraxia and the Mamba Mentality

    In the throws of an initial diagnosis, the apraxia diagnosis broke me. I was in despair for my daughter and determined to do anything in my power to help her speak. I gave it everything I had and getting her the help she needed took my total focus and dedication – Mamba Mentality

    Throughout the process of therapy and learning to talk, Ashlynn gave it everything she had, every session. My clients do the same. Ashlynn and children with apraxia put in WAY more work than other children just learning how to talk. When it was time to perform they many times may have fallen short, but always got up again. Speech for apraxia is intense and direct and talking didn’t come easy, but hard work outweighs talent every time. – Mamba Mentality

    I posted a video from Neil deGrasse Tyson the other day about a parent’s job not being so much to instill curiosity in children as to be being sure not to squash it. I might venture the same is true about the resiliency that apraxia taught our children early on. I think it’s easy for us to want to take away their pain and make life easy for them after watching them struggle to do a basic human right: Speak.

    However, that “struggle” built a natural “mamba mentality” and if they can keep that mentality throughout their entire life they are already ahead of game.

    I’ve had the privilege of meeting many older individuals who grew up with apraxia now, and by and large their work ethic, drive, determination, and resiliency continues to help them achieve great things. – Mamba Mentality

    Watching my daughter fight to overcome apraxia and then all of her other learning disabilities put this “mamba mentality” inside of me. I was not ever going to give up. I was going to keep my drive and determination no matter how many times I failed. I was going to keep working and striving not only for her but toward a greater vision of apraxia awareness and I was going to remember what Babe Ruth when he said, “You just can’t beat the person who never gives up.”

    It would seem Babe Ruth too had the mamba mentality.

    As the world said goodbye to Kobe Bryant at his celebration of life today, I thought about how a true legacy is not just achieving some amazing feat. A true legacy is an amazing feat paired with how many others were inspired to be better and be something greater because you existed.

    Who will you or your child inspire with their mamba mentality?

    Laura Smith, M.A. CCC-SLP is a 2014 graduate of Apraxia Kids Boot Camp, has completed the PROMPT Level 1 training, and the Kaufman Speech to Language Protocol (K-SLP). She is the author of Overcoming Apraxia and has lectured throughout the United States on CAS and related issues. Currently, Laura is a practicing SLP specializing in apraxia at her clinic A Mile High Speech Therapy in Aurora, Colorado. 

  • Top Ten SLP Mommy of Apraxia posts for 2019

    Top Ten SLP Mommy of Apraxia posts for 2019

    Hi readers! Not only another year, but another decade is coming to a close! My daughter Ashlynn was born in 2009, and it’s astounding all of the changes that set off in my life throughout the past ten years! This past decade was one of joy as a I built my family, but also sorrow facing numerous challenges with Ashlynn.

    I have faith though that this next decade will be one of overcoming! I know ten years from now I’m going to be writing another success and triumph story, much like I did in the book I published this year called “Overcoming Apraxia.” I also want this next decade to be one of exponential growth in apraxia awareness and information so all children have the access to the best therapy.

    Happy New Year and I wish you all a blessed 2020!

    Here are my top ten posts from 2019.

    1. The Exploding Genetic Findings in Childhood Apraxia of Speech
    Click here

    2. Growing up with CAS: Never Stop Dreaming

    Click here

    3. Adulting with Apraxia

    Click here

    4. Hammering out Apraxia

    Click here

    5. Mind the (30 milllion) Gap: Beyond the Catchy Headline

    Click here

    6. Who diagnoses Childhood Apraxia of Speech?

    Click here

    7. Did I cause her CAS?

    Click here

    8. Oral Language and Phonological Skills May Be the Best Predictors for Reading Disorders in Childhood Apraxia of Speech

    Click here

    9.Shaming parents about home carryover

    Click here

    10. Growing up apraxia: I want them to learn what it is

    Click here

    Happy New Year friends! Always believe in the magic of new beginnings! Stay present. Love. Hope. Live.

    With Gratitude,
    Laura