I practice person-first language. I make sure I use it in every setting. If you’re not familiar with person first language, it’s the idea that you put a person *before* their disability. The idea is that when we put the disability first, we define a person by their disability. However, no person is defined by their disability. A person is just…..a person first.
So, instead of saying that bipolar guy, you would say, “that guy who has bipolar.”
Instead of saying my apraxic daughter, I would say, “my daughter who has apraxia.”
Instead of saying that “stutterer,” you would say, that child/man/woman who stutters.”
There is a lot of debate about this honestly. Some people think it’s political correctness gone too far.
I have never had much of an opinion, except for the fact I made sure to use person first language so as not to offend anyone personally or professionally, and I never minded if someone said my apraxic daughter. It’s all semantics. Whatev.
Well, that is until today.
I work a day and a half in the same school as my daughter. She is in a program called ILC (Integrated Learning Center). In most districts, this program would be a Center Program, and it is, kind of. In this district, there is more a focus on inclusion, but with para (classroom aid) support. To get an aid though, you need to be in the ILC program.
Ashlynn’s ILC teacher is AMAZING. I mean, my daughter is on grade level in math and she is making huge gains in reading. I can’t really even believe she can read a sight word book at times. It took 3 YEARS of me helping her just be able to name the letters in her NAME! Word finding impacts her BIG time. Even if she could read I thought, she would NEVER be able to show it until years down the line.
Wrong. She’s coming home with new books every day she is “reading.” It’s incredible. I mean seriously incredible people. She couldn’t talk three years ago.
Anyway, other kids who need help reading get pulled out too, but they are pulled into a “resource room” that has no specific name. They just get “reading support.” Ashlynn gets reading support too, but her programming has a name, and that name in this district is ILC.
I’m part of many, many, many IEP meetings. Parents ALWAYS worry about putting their kid in the “special classroom.” Usually, it’s based off of their own experiences growing up, knowing and remembering the kids who were in the “special classrooms.” They don’t want their child to be labeled “special” “different” or made fun of. We assure them things have changed. It’s not like that anymore. And it’s true. Seriously! I do think things have changed drastically since even when I was in school.
I have to digress really quick, but it reminds me of my colleague I worked with many years ago named Mr. G. He was a SPED teacher from Brooklynn and he was funny, engaging, and the kids absolutely LOVED him. Apparently he was in SPED when he was younger. You know, the “special classroom.” He said the buildings and programming were so archaic in Brooklynn when he was a child at the time, that he was literally separated from his general ed peers into a classroom in the basement of the school, and the only window had bars on it. He was also a bit of jokester, so when he told the story it was funny. However, if you think about it, there is nothing funny in what he said. How awful. A man who was able to get a master’s degree in teaching, was once banished to a basement of a school with bars on the window. How on Earth did he make it out on the other side?
Anyway, yes, times have DEFINITELY changed since then thank goodness.
Where is this story going, you might be asking.
Well here it is. I never worried about Ashlynn being my “apraxic daughter” or in “ILC” until today. I was working at her school with a child who has been identified as GT (gifted/talented) and a double X’r (twice exceptional). The twice exceptional refers to the fact he is gifted, but still needs support from SPED (me…speech).
We were walking in the hallway and I looked out the window toward the playground where I knew Ashlynn was playing. I said I just wanted a quick peek at my daughter.
He asked me, “Is her name Ashlynn?”
“Yep,” I quipped proudly. “Wait, how do you know?” I inquired.
“Oh, she’s an IC kid,” he said matter-of-factly.
My face fell.
“How do you know she’s an “IC kid?” I said, and my entire body literally cringed.
“Well, she goes to that room.”
I studied him. Innocent. Blunt.
I wanted to ask him what an “IC kid” was, but I just couldn’t bring myself to ask. I was too scared of the response. Maybe it would have been innocent too. Why did I automatically think it would be negative?
I don’t know. All I did know, is I do NOT, definitely, never, ever, want anyone EVER to label MY daughter as an “IC kid.”
She’s a kid. She’s a kid who goes to ILC because she has apraxia, and that’s it. There’s nothing else to see here.
I don’t blame this kid. He’s an innocent KID for Pete’s sake. I still felt bummed though.
I came home tonight to this:
She lost her first tooth, or should I say “teeth.” Both bottom front teeth came out tonight. She was scared, then happy, then nervous for the “tooth fairy.” She told me, “Tell the tooth fairy to not scare me, okay mommy?” She also said, “maybe I will get five dollars.” My husband who was in the room next door spit out his drink and said, “where did she get 5 dollars??”
I smiled. I don’t know. She came up with it all on her own though.
I kissed her goodnight, and I vowed to make it my mission everyone see her for HER. She’s not an apraxic kid. She’s not that special kid. She’s not that IC kid.
Her name is Ashlynn. She was born to move mountains, to kick ass, or to be whoever the hell she wants to be. Today is International Women’s Day, and I love this quote:
Ashlynn not only handles all the shit that has been handed to her, but she handles it with grace and a smile. I know that will only continue to serve her well.
So today, I have officially sealed my opinion, that person first language IS important because Ashlynn is Ashlynn above any, and EVERYTHING else.
