Dyspraxia Dancing Queen at Thirteen
Long ago before I knew terms like Dyspraxia, or Developmental Coordination Disorder or Dystonic Cerebral Palsy, I knew my daughter was falling behind in her developmental milestones. She only “army crawled” and nine months and didn’t fully crawl until well after a year. Learning to walk seemed like a pipe dream goal. I would observe on social media other people’s babies learning to walk and crawl so early. I would feel an initial mix of awe with an immediate sinking feeling of despair. Why couldn’t Ashlynn do these things? I was even a THERAPIST. Granted a SPEECH therapist, but I had worked alongside occupational and physical therapists. Why was she so behind??
This was a video taken of her around 15 months. We had bought her a “walker” to help her stabilize and learn to walk. She never ever gave up but it broke my mama heart. Her legs are weak. They literally seemed to give out beneath her. Yet she smiled looking up at me with that positive attitude and unbreakable determination.
Ashlynn did learn to finally walk at around 19 months. However, she would remain unsteady on her feet and any incline variance would threaten a potential fall or crash. Every gross motor skill a child learns thereafter Ashlynn learned with the help of physical and occupational therapy.
In school plays, even if Ashlynn could overcome the dyspraxia and learn the dance moves, her ADHD and SPD sensory overload had her usually standing the whole time and just watching everyone else. I watched her at school dances, monster balls, and school plays with tears in my eyes because she wasn’t able to participate like everyone else.
Fast forward years ahead. We were at a wedding tonight. Ashlynn is 13, two months shy of 14. She has never had formal dance lessons and honestly PT is spent stretching out her tight muscles and OT is spent helping her complete daily living tasks in the home. That’s why tonight was so amazing.
Ashlynn danced her heart out not only keeping the beat to the “Cupid Shuffle,” but also DOING the cupid shuffle!
An Imagine Dragons song lyric popped into my head “I’m an apostrophe, I’m just a symbol to remind you that there’s more to see,” and I started thinking developmental delays are much like this. They may have taken a more unconventional route, and it didn’t look as clean as formal as the original, but they did things their way and the outcome is the same. In fact, I might argue, the outcome is even better. I’ll leave you, reader with another lyric from that same song,
“I’m just a product of the system, a catastrophe, and yet a masterpiece.”
At the time, due to my conditioning of the “system” in which we live, Ashlynn’s diagnoses seemed like catastrophes. I was honestly and embarrassingly now, devastated. How silly. If only I had know then what I know now, those differences are what makes her a unique and unparalleled “masterpiece.”
Keep dancing my dyspraxia queen. You’ve earned every step.