The five words and a report card that broke me
It started with 5 little words.
“I hope I did GREAT!” my ten year old daughter with about every learning disability possible said yesterday in the car.
She was referring to her report card after her younger brother had pulled his out of his backpack and celebrated for getting all 3’s. With this new grading system, kids are given a number of 1-4. No one really gets a four because it would mean you know all the skills, so to get all three’s is outstanding.
“I hope I did GREAT,” was echoing in my ears before a deafening silence after looking over her report card.
She is on a modified curriculum and so she is graded by her special education teacher through the IEP (individualized education plan). Last year for subjects in which the curriculum was modified her teacher put NA and Ashlynn looked for the classes in which she didn’t have modified curriculum. I had assumed it was the same this year.
It was only when we got home did I realize the reason for the deafening silence. He report card was littered with all 1’s.
“I hope I did GREAT!!!” echoed in my ears again.
So full of hope. So full of knowing. So sure that she had worked so hard and surely the grades would show it. As her eyes searched my face I couldn’t help tearing up.
“Oh Ashlynn, this doesn’t mean anything. You’re not graded by the general education teacher. You’re graded by your special education teacher through the IEP we just had and everyone said you ARE doing SO GREAT!!”
“Can we read it mama?” she offered.
I immediately went and grabbed her IEP and through tears read the first line,
“Ashlynn is an amazingly hard worker, she never gives up trying and rarely can been seen without a smile on her face! She very much enjoys all aspects of school, from general education, to special education, lunch, recess and specials.”
(as a side note thank you to the professionals who make a point of writing strengths based reports)
Would you like to know what wiped the smile off that girl who is rarely seen without a smile?
A report card full of 1’s.
“I hope I did GREAT!”
It just broke me. There I was in a kitchen floor moment, as we call them in the apraxia world. Ashlynn gets worried when I cry so I explained I was crying happy tears because I was just so proud of her. Accepting this answer we went through all the rubrics from her service providers and always the positive Ashlynn, a smile returned to her face as she found all the big numbers and cheered for herself.
My seven year old son came out of his room and told her things like, “Good job Ashlynn! You’re doing so great!”
Even a seven year old knew how hard his sister worked and how devastating it would be to see all 1’s.
“I hope I did GREAT!” still rung in my ears.
It was so painful I had to leave the house and just cry for her. She is always working. She is ALWAYS working. Her bedroom is full of books and papers. She practices all the time, not to mention all the work she does at school, in therapies, and at tutoring. She doesn’t deserve to do all this work just to see a report card full of 1’s.
I’m going to develop a new plan for report cards so this doesn’t happen again. I’m hoping to either go back to getting NA on the report card for subjects in which the curriculum is modified, or I want an accommodation written into the IEP that report cards are not sent home with Ashlynn anymore.
“I hope I did GREAT!” needs to never, ever again be crushed in the little girl who is an “amazingly hard worker” and who “never gives up trying.”
She did do great. She always does great. She IS great.
Laura Smith, M.A. CCC-SLP is a 2014 graduate of Apraxia Kids Boot Camp, has completed the PROMPT Level 1 training, and the Kaufman Speech to Language Protocol (K-SLP). She is the author of Overcoming Apraxia and has lectured throughout the United States on CAS and related issues. Currently, Laura is a practicing SLP specializing in apraxia at her clinic A Mile High Speech Therapy in Aurora, Colorado.