Finding all the wrong words or no words at all.
I think one thing, well actually I KNOW one thing I never knew about CAS before Ashlynn, was the significant difficulty kids with CAS tend to have with word finding.
Ashlynn and all of my clients struggle with this to varying degrees. Sometimes, Ashlynn’s seem innocent. She’ll call me grandma after she’s been with her grandma all day. She’ll say “today” when she really meant “tomorrow,” or say “tomorrow” when she really meant “today.”
Sometimes though, despite being able to speak, “finding her voice” as we like to say, that doesn’t always mean she can find her words. This is especially true when she is sick, tired, or both.
I received a text from a friend a couple weeks ago. Her son is a year older than Ashlynn, still in speech, but talks non-stop now.
“I debated calling in today and letting G stay home. He was just not himself this morning. He said, ‘No school. I can’t.’ He walked down the hallway with drooping shoulders.”
I asked her why. She didn’t know. That’s all he said. “No school. I can’t.”
My response?
“Stupid apraxia. Even when they can talk, they can’t verbalize everything they are thinking/feeling.”
A few hours later she texted me that G was sent home from school because he was sick.
My daughter used to become overheated in her carseat. It would cause her to throw up, but she would only tell me, “my neck hurts.” I became really good at diving to a shoulder when Ashylnn’s “neck hurt!”
Today I had the day off with both of my kids. It was great! We played, relaxed, and even took a nap. Aren’t they cute?
Ashlynn NEVER takes naps anymore, so I should have known something was up then. She went to her private swim lesson tonight, and then we all went out to dinner. I spent most of the dinner in the bathroom with her. She kept thinking she had to go “potty.” We walked around, we jumped, we danced, nothing. She started saying she was tired. She NEVER says this. I asked her if she felt sick. She said no.
We drove home, gave her a bath, and she went straight to bed. I rubbed her back and asked her again if she felt sick. Did she feel like she was going to throw up? Did her tummy hurt? She just shook her head no.
I went out to the living room, and not 5 minutes later I hear coughing and she is throwing up.
Sigh.
Not that it matters I guess whether she had told me she felt sick or not. It’s not like the outcome would have changed; but it is a glaring reminder of how speaking intelligibly and finding her voice, did not fix everything like I thought it would. She will still struggle to find her words.
I remember listening to a Ronda Rousey interview, and she was saying that when she received a bronze medal in the Olympics she was a young girl in her teens and people wanted to interview her. She would beg her mom not to make her do it. Her mom made her do it anyway, but her older sister would sit behind her chair, and when Ronda couldn’t find her words, her sister whispered some to her. Ronda doesn’t do interviews anymore with her sister behind a chair, and that gives me hope.
For now though, I’ll file away this event in case I need it later. Just like I did when Ashlynn’s neck hurt. I always say a mother is an expert on her child, and this is why. Only I know these signs. Only I was there through all of these situations and experiences. ALL of them.
Next time, I will know she needs to throw up and I’ll be prepared.
I’ll give her the words when she can’t, or is just too tired to find them herself. I will know because I have always listened and I will always listen to way than her words, and I always will.
