To the woman who said my daughter “really stood out.”
Original post appeared 10/5/2015
We all went to a pumpkin festival over the weekend. My kids had a blast riding the wagon, picking out their pumpkins, drinking apple cider, and their favorite……dancing to the band. It was a bluegrass band with a standup bass, a fiddle, a guitar, and the occasional banjo. My kids loved dancing and when songs came up they knew like “Skip to my Lou” and “Shoo Fly,” they were proudly and loudly singing along.
Ashlynn was wiggling her hips and dancing. She would occasionally look back and I would pretend I had been clapping the entire time to encourage her. She would turn back around to the band and continue her dancing.
An older woman and her friend sat down next to me. She noticed right away Ashlynn was my daughter and asked if she was mine. I told her she was.
A little while later, she commented, “I love how uninhibited she is.” I smiled and agreed. This woman started clapping with me during one pause when Ashlynn looked back, and she kept clapping. I started clapping with her and continued, even if Ashlynn wasn’t looking back. I love music too and it’s hard for me to sit still, so I was happy to have company. Besides, I thought. If I want Ashlynn to be confident and “dance like no one is looking” as they say, I need to model that myself.
More people started to clap. Ashlynn kept looking back more now, but not to me. This time she was enticing the crowd to clap along. The more people clapped the more gleeful she became. Her smile was radiant.
“She really stands out,” the woman said, and for a minute my heart fell. What does she mean??
“She’s a natural performer,” she continued.
I hope the look on my face was beaming with pride, but I doubt it was because what I was thinking is that all I have wanted is for people to believe in Ashlynn like I do, like her family does, and see what WE see. This year has already been better with her school team, and of course her private SLP is awesome, but what I was thinking as this lady looked at me with her kind eyes, gentle smile, hands clapping, was “lady, you have NO idea where we have come from.”
We went back to looking at the kids and enjoying the music. They were getting a lesson on how to play spoons. You would gather two spoons the same size, turn them back to back, hold them a certain way and then slap them on your knee. Ashlynn was the only child who picked it up and did it correctly.
“She’s got it!” exclaimed the woman. “Look at her!” She’s got it!
I looked on and saw Ashlynn had in fact mastered how to hold and play the spoons, but she couldn’t quite coordinate getting her leg up to slap them, so she took one hand and held up her leg while the other slapped the spoons. My wonder was cut short as I looked over to see my son who had given up on the spoons zero in on the fiddle laying on the ground behind the band.
Uh oh
I jumped out of my seat and went weaving through the crowd but it was too late. Jace looked like he had found the golden treasure, so you can imagine the reaction when I snatched it out of his hands and put it back. Cody came in and swept him away to timeout.
I went back and sat down.
We listened to a few more songs before the band stopped for the day. At the end, the woman offered me 25 dollars worth of tickets.
“Oh I can’t repay you, I have no cash,” I stammered.
“No dear, take them. I bought too many and it was a joy watching your children,” and just like that she had moved on with her friend.
Her words were echoing in my head:
“It was a joy watching your children”
“She really stands out”
“I love how uninhibited she is”
I looked down at the tickets and felt tears in my eyes. I had just written a post about being thrilled that Ashlynn was fitting in, but as a reader reminded me, perhaps I was looking at it wrong and I should remember Ashlynn was born to stand out.
For once, I felt happy that Ashlynn had “STOOD OUT,” so thank you random woman at the pumpkin festival. Thank you for seeing Ashlynn for who she is, and for paying forward your kindness; and to Ashlynn, may you never lose your uninhibited joy.
