She has never asked for anything before…how could we say no?
Original appeared on 10/12/15
Oh apraxia. Oh global apraxia. I have said before if someone wanted to do a checklist on paper I could make a strong case for my daughter having autism. She doesn’t of course, but one item evaluators love is “restricted interests” or “perseverative behaviors.” If your child is demonstrating one of these then someone somewhere will start to suspect autism. Luckily for my daughter, she has always been an extrovert and socially motivated. One meeting with her and any thought of autism is extinguished; however, it always makes me wonder when so many parents say their child has apraxia AND autism. It always makes me pause and wonder how many parents of those kids have global apraxia. You see, when a child can’t speak, play skills and social language skills will be delayed resulting in what looks like some sort of social impairment or delay. When a child has additional problems with fine or gross motor skills, they can’t even play with toys appropriately because they simply can’t work them like their typical peers. If you add that all together you get get the following formula:
Lack of language and speech + lack of motor skills = restricted interests and/or perseverative behaviors.
Oh and I didn’t add in a “shy” or “introverted” child. Well, they would probably be misdx too. Anyway, that’s really an entirely different post.
Ashlynn when she finally started to speak somewhat, did ask me for a “baby” for Christmas. I’m not sure if this was her own doing, or because she had been taught the word baby in therapy and she had just had a baby brother. Either way, Santa bought her a baby. She was excited until she realized she couldn’t dress it or undress it. The motor skills just weren’t there and the baby went to the wayside. It was heartbreaking to see her excitement and then disappointment. Since that time, all she’s ever asked for are “cards.” I’m talking about playing cards, flash cards, or speech cards. Cards. This is what she has wanted for her Birthday or for Christmas. Cards.
How sad is that?
She knows cards. She understands cards. She’s looked at cards to help her talk since she was 3. I have mentioned before Ashlynn is the toughest and hardest working girl I know. That girl always wants to work, and with cards, she knows she can learn. She takes her cards to church, pulls them in a wagon, swings them, colors on them, collects them, and sleeps with them. Cards are literally ALL over our house people. Last year, her dad and I didn’t know what to get her. All she kept asking for was “cards.” We bought her a book and baseball card pages to collect them and stickers with which to decorate her book. She loved it. Cards. That was her present. My husband felt awful buying that gift. The pain last year in his face was tangible. I told him, “Cody, it’s what she wants. Just buy her cards.” He bought her the most expensive and extravagant book and cards he could find, but I could tell, he still felt bad.
This year, she turns six. He asked her one day what she wanted. The first words out of her mouth were “cards.” The second:
“A kitty.”
We only have a dog. My husband is not crazy about cats at all. I had a cat when he met me. The first cat I ever owned because my mom wasn’t crazy about cats either so I bought one when I moved out. He tolerated that cat at best, and unfortunately my Rajah died at only 5 years old from kidney failure. He loved me so much we got a new cat, but the cat was crazy. Literally. We lived in a third story apartment and the cat kept jumping off the balcony. I have NO idea how it survived twice, but the third time it never came back. We never found it and we never got another cat. That was right before Ashlynn was born. Cody swore off any cats again. He flat out told me, no more cats. I didn’t argue too much, because no one it would seem, could replace my Rajah anyway.
Well…..until Ashlynn said “kitty.”
Cody struggled for three weeks. For some reason, when I asked Ashlynn what she wanted, I still only got “cards.” When Cody asked her, he got “kitty.”
Convincing me was an easy obstacle, so last night, a little over a week before Ashlynn’s sixth birthday, Cody posted this picture to his fb account with the caption:
When your daughter asks for a kitty for her birthday, and she has never asked for anything before. You end up with a kitty. Say hello to Rousey the cat.
Ashlynn’s smile says it all.
Oh and yes. Our cat’s name is Rousey. Judging from the pet store lady’s tears when we said we would adopt her, we discovered we saved her from imminent death…so yeah…even though Rousey’s sweet….she’s a fighter who beats the odds too; so we couldn’t think of a better name.