Still we rise
I received all of Ashlynn’s reports from her re-evaluation. I knew it would be hard. It’s hard to read those scores and things about your baby. However, I was also proud. So proud of how far she has come. She is the hardest working child I know. The social worker and special education teacher seem to understand her the best. They listed her strengths, which are many. They were thoughtful in their words, and I could tell they both believe in her success.
Perhaps that’s why it came more as a shock to read the speech report. It is too painful to summarize. Maybe in another blog post, years down the road. Not now. Suffice it to say, there were no strengths listed. So much of what she can’t do (which I know) without praising how far she has come and what she can do.
I was upset to learn she tested her in the classroom. Ashlynn’s attention severely impacts performance. Doesn’t she know this? Why wouldn’t you take her to a quiet room?
Well after reading the report, it would seem apparent to me this woman doesn’t like my child and doesn’t see her potential. Maybe that’s why she continued to only receive 30 minutes of therapy IN the classroom despite a report that says she is severely deficient in essentially every area of speech and language. I’m not even the most upset about the numbers. There were things Ashlynn didn’t do on the test I know she can do. I’ve SEEN her do it. I’m an SLP, I can assure you….she can do it. Why then didn’t this woman qualify in her report that despite not performing on the test, she can do x,y & z?
No matter. I have my answer.
I guess when you don’t believe in someone, what’s the point in trying?
I’m crying as I wrote that, but I refuse to cry anymore. There are people who believe in my daughter, and people who aren’t just me.
I took her this morning and told her “Ashlynn, I just want you to know you are smart. You are kind and you’re a hard worker. You can be anything you want to be. You can do anything you want to do.” and you know what that girl said?
“I know mommy.”
Before I enter this IEP meeting, I have Maya Angelou’s words running through my head. Ashlynn…..WE WILL RISE
You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may tread me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.
