What if we don’t prove them wrong?
I had a client recently who told me a well-meaning friend called her five year old son with apraxia “retarded.” Apparently he meant it in a “well-meaning way” asking about services, but understandably the term shocked, appalled, angered, and then saddened her. Isn’t it interesting what we all presume about a child based on nothing more than their speech?
She went onto say she didn’t even correct him because at this point she’s just tired. She’s just tired of explaining it and what did it matter anyway. She also went on to say she was mad at apraxia all week, and she wished they were in the future when she will hunt this man down and show him her successful, happy, thriving, “retarded” son.
I smiled. That moment. Yes.
What, when, and where will that moment be? I know it will come. I know one day, A will have her moment in the sun. Maybe others won’t even know it is her moment. Maybe it will just seem completely normal and average, but to me, I will revel in her moment. I will cry in her moment. I will cry tears of joy. Tears no one may understand. Maybe she won’t even understand.
Will she roll her eyes in typical teen fashion and scold me for embarrassing her? Will she smile too from the pride she feels in her own self?
Yes. That moment.
I talk about that moment with every mother who has a child with apraxia. That moment when our children will prove them all wrong, even if “them all” will be long gone or distant memories. Hurtful memories are never too distant when their pain was so raw, and they seem to leave open wounds on our hearts and in our minds, seemingly unaffected by the passage of time.
That moment.
When the same eyes that cried tears of fear and sadness will now drop tears of triumph, victory, and pride.
That moment.
The vision of that moment, whatever it may be, keeps me going. Keeps me fighting. Keeps me working. Keeps me hoping.
I know it will be there. Just like I knew she would talk. Just like I knew she would sing. Just like I knew she would ride her tricycle. That moment has and will always be there, and in that moment, nothing on this planet will be sweeter.
In that moment, maybe I shouldn’t look at it as proving them all wrong, but rather proving US right.
