There is a difference between not knowing, and not knowing yet!
Professional development today found me in a room full of teachers checking boxes about our personality characteristics. In the left column, characteristics were decidedly rigid, black and white, and defeatist. On the right were characteristics that spoke of resilience, “can do” attitudes, and a try again spirit.
I felt a little bad going through my own (private) personality. I marked off mostly a “mixed” personality which was in the middle. Sample statements?
“You try to avoid making a mistake a second time. You don’t like to think of them.”
“Feedback and criticism make you a little embarrassed. You may want to stop trying.”
“You will practice things you are already good at.”
“You may be willing to try something hard, but not if you are doing it in front of others.”
In this activity, the right column contained statements of a “growth” personality. It was clearly the superior and most effective personality to have, and I wished I could check off boxes in that column; but I could only check off one out of seven. As I read through them though, I realized Ashlynn fit them all:
“You will choose something hard rather than easy if you have a choice.”
“You see mistakes as a chance to learn.”
“You enjoy practicing and you work hard at new things.”
“You stick to it, and work hard. If something is difficult, you try harder.”
“You are willing to make mistakes. You’d rather try and fail than never try.”
Um, could I just pretend I was Ashlynn right now and look good?
No but really. That girl is truly UNBELIEVABLE. Her persistence, bravery, tenacity, and positive attitude all come together to make a person who will be successful despite any challenge. I’m embarrassed of all the skills I probably have that I just abandoned because I wasn’t naturally good at them. She abandons nothing. She faces fear after fear, disappointment after disappointment….head on. This is the reason for her progress.
One disadvantage to being in the profession while being her parent, is I see something called “prognostic indicators.” Every clinician, including myself, has to look at these indicators in making a prognosis. I mean, let’s face it. Sometimes the prognosis for apraxia is not good. Some might never achieve functional intelligible speech. That’s just reality. I told a mom the other day, apraxia is a beast. It’s not just your typical speech and language delay.
Ashlynn, unfortunately, has a TON of check marks in the negative column. Each additional apraxia adds a check:
Verbal
Oral
Gross
Fine
Visual
Other co-morbidities add a check:
Sensory Processing Disorder
Attention issues
That’s not a good starting point, and I haven’t even listed them all. Let’s just say on the positive side “one kick ass family” falls in that column; as one woman I highly respect put it.
Let’s just say, my family is on that side. Powerfully on that side. We have strength in numbers, we have prayer, we have God, and that is going to kick apraxia’s butt.
As I sat there thinking this though, I started to realize, maybe I’m not so heavy in that Mixed column. When it comes to my kids, I’m pretty heavy in the Growth Column. That same woman I just said I respect, also told me I was underestimating my own resilience. I didn’t hear her at the time, but maybe she’s right. When it comes to my babies, I am 100% in. No mountain is too big. No criticism is too harsh because none of it matters. I don’t care what people think my kids can’t do, because I know what they can do. I know what I can do, and we’ll overcome them all together.
